i finally lost it!

     ever since i graduated high school i had been slowly gaining weight and it was so gradual that it wasnt extremely obvious to me, but it was to those who knew me. i knew my clothes were getting smaller and that my pants sizes went up but it wasnt a huge difference so i never thought about it.
     even though the change didnt seem drastic to me, i felt really unhappy about myself. i had no confidence and it was sad because everyone who knows me knows that i am very outgoing and have a very loud personality. i was so unhappy and over the years i would decide to start working out and after a couple weeks i would get so discouraged i would just give up.
     two winters ago i got really serious about working out, i would wake up at 5:00 am to do my 40 minute cardio before school and i would do 40-50 minutes of cardio six days a week and i did this for about 2 months. i was really taking it seriously! one night i was putting on my favorite pajama pants and just like in the commercials my button literally broke off and flew across the room. i cried my eyes out because i was trying so hard and i was only getting bigger! how could this be possible!
     after that incident i gave up on working out.
     last summer i decided to give up eating meat and i lost 6 pounds in just a couple weeks! at the same time i was working at dairy queen and i decided to get a gym membership and i paid for a trainer. it was so difficult trying to find alternative protein sources so i gave up on being a vegetarian and started trying to eat right. once again the workouts werent working and i was so emotional about everything i quit going to the gym.
      i remember saying "when i was in high school i felt fat, but now i would do anything to be the size that i was before". i refused to my old friends from high school because i knew i had gained weight and i was so embarrassed.
      one day i was sitting on the couch surfing the web with the tv on for background noise, and not really paying attention to it, and then all of a sudden something caught my attention. i grabbed the remote and rewound the tv so i could pay attention to what i just heard. this women was who weighed over 300 pounds had lost half of her body weight in 13 months! there are always people everywhere you turn saying they were on a diet and it worked and i never pay attention because i do not believe in diets. but there was something about what i was watching on tv that really caught my attention, and then she said it! she lost it all doing Medifast!
      i had never heard of medifast and i had to rewind the tv multiple times to figure out what she said because she said it so fast. as soon as i figured it out i googled medifast and spent over an hour researching everything about it! i called my mom right away with so much excitement because i thought i had finally found my solution! my problem has always been food because i hate having to put a lot of thought into what i need to eat because when i get hungry i want to eat! i dont want to do portions or figuring out numbers, i just want it to be simple.
     with medifast everything comes prepackaged! it is all right there in front of your face with very little thought or effort needed. this was exactly the diet for me! i was so happy! my mom was hesitant to the idea because just like me she had never heard of it and diets dont have a very good reputation. she was suggesting that i do weight watchers instead because she knows many people at work who have had great success, but like i said before i hate having to calculate my food.
    there was one little problem.. the cost. it cost $300 for the 4 week plan which included 5 medifast meals per day! to me that seemed reasonable, but when i am asking for financial assistance from my mom who has never heard of this and knows nothing about it i got "we can talk about this when i got home".
     but there was something about this that had me so excited, i can not even put into words the feeling i had when i found out about this diet!
     i had a little safety-net though..  i sold my car about a year ago and still had the money in my savings account. out of fear of getting in trouble i made the executive decision right then and there to buy it!
     when my mom got home she told me that she would pay for me to do weight watchers and i cut her off and said i had already bought and paid for the medifast. i could see the worry in her face but she 100% supported me!
     everyday i would track the shipping and the day that it arrived was the happiest day ever! i think i almost cried.. i took everything out of the box, displayed it across the table then took a picture of it to send to my mom. then i had to leave for work.

this is the actual picture i took!

       i started the diet on monday, january 9th, weighing 158 lbs, in exactly seven days i lost 9 lbs!! can you believe that! my years of struggling to lose 5 pounds and in one week i lost 9 lbs just like that! this was exactly the miracle i had been looking for!
     on a good day i now weigh 135 lbs and the happiness i have for myself is unexplainable. i am smaller then i was my senior year in high school! i have so much confidence in myself and i can not stop looking at myself in every mirror i come across! and by the way, i never worked out once! not one single time!
     so now my shopping addiction has taken over :) i can not help but buy things that make me look as amazing as i feel (like my 5 inch steven madden heels which i could die over). it will take some time to replace my very expensive wardrobe i seemed to acquire over the past 4 years because none of my jeans fit me anymore.
     i am still struggling with comments i get from some people saying that i am 'too skinny' and that i need to eat more or gain more weight. that is definitely a challenge for me because i tried so hard for so long to get here. but i have gotten great advice from people who care about me on how to deal with those situations so thank you!
     one thing i learned through all of this is that you never realize how unhappy you were until you are finally happy.

before; june 2010

today! biggest smile ever!

i will be posting more before and after pictures wearing the same outfits that i wore in the past! so stay tuned! i hope you all enjoyed my success story, i know i do!